Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
