you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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