I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
