I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, beer. Big fan.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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