I think I died a long time ago.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize