my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The power of my boobs compel you
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
