At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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