Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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