I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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