I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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