i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
