Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
