Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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  (323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/xr1e
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (1043)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

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  (201): i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so. http://tfl.nu/3zja
  Replies (58) Good night (3906) Bad night (1315)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

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  (703): I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/3gnr
  Replies (70) Good night (1324) Bad night (6801)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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  (630): just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now. http://tfl.nu/m10w
  Replies (29) Good night (8063) Bad night (758)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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  (952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2
  Replies (14) Good night (5690) Bad night (1496)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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  (519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye
  Replies (12) Good night (3841) Bad night (2044)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

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  (615): You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible. http://tfl.nu/1rrn
  Replies (16) Good night (3533) Bad night (958)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...

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  (570): who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius... http://tfl.nu/rkbg
  Replies (15) Good night (3736) Bad night (1056)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...

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  (406): He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well... http://tfl.nu/dwtt
  Replies (16) Good night (1419) Bad night (3275)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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  (513): you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore. http://tfl.nu/8tgi
  Replies (8) Good night (2771) Bad night (735)
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  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2449) Bad night (913)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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  (802): I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel. http://tfl.nu/xk67
  Replies (11) Good night (2096) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  he is risen halelujah

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  (303): nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ (1-303): he is risen halelujah http://tfl.nu/sbcr
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (687)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  $450 apparently whoopwhoop

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  (412): How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in? (412): $450 apparently whoopwhoop http://tfl.nu/9hqx
  Replies (6) Good night (384) Bad night (647)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.

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  (404): I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week. http://tfl.nu/2i12
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (328)

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