Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.