Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

that's Oklahoma for you

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(573): View more from Missouri

Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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(917): View more from New York City

hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out

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(636): View more from Missouri

I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.

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(323): View more from California

He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him

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(406): View more from Montana

It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner

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