how can u be prego again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How does it feel to date your dad?