i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?