Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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  (708): He uses pillows to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/f9f4
  Replies (39) Good night (743) Bad night (3163)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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  (765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9
  Replies (28) Good night (2212) Bad night (3766)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  i told you not to try chat roulette

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  (248): it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world (1-248): i told you not to try chat roulette http://tfl.nu/80bv
  Replies (20) Good night (1242) Bad night (6477)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4618) Bad night (871)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener

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  (970): she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener http://tfl.nu/dutw
  Replies (6) Good night (2483) Bad night (1187)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm

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  (516): My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm http://tfl.nu/6xao
  Replies (9) Good night (2812) Bad night (816)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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  (479): You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it. http://tfl.nu/l6w1
  Replies (2) Good night (2226) Bad night (744)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

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  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (4) Good night (3274) Bad night (740)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.

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  (503): Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her. http://tfl.nu/s4rs
  Replies (0) Good night (774) Bad night (364)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.

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  (781): So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT. http://tfl.nu/457t
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (278)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (625)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

  (646): View more from New York

  This text was so worth waking up to

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  (407): I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours (646): This text was so worth waking up to http://tfl.nu/6rgp
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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  (202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (292)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Come through the front door when you get here.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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  (516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns

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  (905): If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns http://tfl.nu/dd5q
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (236)

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