she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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