a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize