her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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