I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
