I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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