I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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