By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize