I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize