i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My breasts were aching with rage.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
