what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
