Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
