How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize