meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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