why didn't you poke me back
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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