If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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