If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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