mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to make out with him forever
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
