She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
