Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
