and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That was before I lit my hair on fire
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
