it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
