Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
