I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
