lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
