i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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