Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
