My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Too much gin, very little bucket
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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