I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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