And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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