i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
