Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
