people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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