I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
