I've blown a few things in my day
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize