I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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