Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize