I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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