Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well you can't waste a boner
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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