the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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