Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
