I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
