We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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