im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize