I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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