Acid is not a monday night drug
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
