Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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