Already got asked if we're dating
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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